Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 28: Refusing to Choose

20:46 Under the Covers with Eve episode 28 / 34 Mar 27, 2016 16 comments 3250 1104

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This week, I'd like to check in with you on the Renaissance of You, and see how you're doing with that. And I'd also like to discuss something you might be unfamiliar with.

Do you find it hard to focus on just one thing in life? Have you been called scattered or unable to concentrate? Unfocused?

This episode helps dispel the idea that there's something wrong with being that kind of person. Links I mention in the audio follow below.

This episode is going to be my last regular weekly edition of Under the Covers. I’ve done 28 episodes, and enjoyed them all, but the self-imposed deadline of getting these out on time every week is really taking a toll. I’d like to be able to focus on erotic audio more, as well, and on top of that, I’d like to spare my voice a bit. Recording something daily is also taking a toll, and as much as I love doing everything I do, I want to take care of my voice.

So this isn’t the last episode ever - I am working on a major project with some fine ladies from GWA that will hopefully be up next week. But after that, I’ll just post these episodes when time and inspiration allows. Thank you to everyone who’s listened over the past six months, just knowing you come back to listen every week is very flattering. I’ve enjoyed your comments and messages, and I hope these episodes have given you some food for thought. ❤️


Infographic on late bloomers

For the Directionless

Da Vinci’s resume

Hildegarde of Bingen


Introduction to Scanners

Khan Academy

Jack of All Trades at fourhourworkweek.com

Barbara Sher's Youtube series

Other audios in Under the Covers with Eve


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  • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-05-01 18:00:46 (UTC)

    Despite catching this series late in the day Eve and your regular guy series too,I hope it's okay to give you and any other guys a bit of an update. On my second week of self improvement now and after taking stock of my woefully illprepared wardrobe my shopping trip for new styles and colours went better than I expected. On the weekend I attended a social event albeit with family,in totally new look. No training shoes,jogging bottoms,Walking Dead Tee and hoodie. I stepped out in new boots,slacks and long sleeved cardigan. I kept the Tee but went for a different colour and tried to layer as you put it with a jacket over them. I felt better within myself I have to admit,never thought it would make me feel any different. The quiz night was not a success in terms of our placing but it was a social outing with my brother and sister that we rarely do and you know some chat,couple of drinks and I actually felt much better for ot about myself because I did look better! The following day,after Gym,I took a modified version of this outfit and sat in my Starbucks feeling like a different guy,more likely to be approached and more confident in talking to anybody,I even asked my barrista for the free refill whichich I rarely do! Then we talked about some new energy biscuits,after two large Pike Place energy biscuits not required but I felt like engaging in some general chat. He brought in a female colleague and so this became a three way chat. Normally my level of confidence would not have taken me that far. Guys,it's amazing how soon a few alterations to wardrobe can mske a difference. I work on limited funds to. Others may consider upping there outlay just to see what happens. Using the colour match system Eve talks of is useful too,I'm putting in colours I wouldn't normally consider.
    Of course said wardrobe has more wooden hangers now which work to keep cardigans and slacks,shirts to in a much better state. My skin has been altered forever and for the better,smoother and fresher looking by loofah! I just never realised how effective they could be. Dandruff is not a major problem for me but I use an anti prep now just as insurance and alongside my regular shampoo. Hair does feel smoother,less grizzly! As for the Egyptian cotton towel,well this is true heaven,especially after a hard Gym session and a great shower. To just bury your face into somewhere warm and soft,makes thoughts of doing the same elsewhere come flooding in to my mind! Some mild pampering can help us guys,give in to it and take extra time just to luxuriate in some!
    My reading habits have changed too,trying to get into the mind of the average female isn't so bad,quite stumulating actually! My library ticket,on Eve's recommendation, has introduced me to romantic fiction and Lora Leigh's Forbidden. It is steamy stuff and gets right into some quite full on sex,in Starbucks I really enjoyed myself in a very different way!
    I am in the process of trying to get that sensation of the female touch and know how it is to experience,soft,delicate hands working on my skin. Taking Eve's advice,I'm looking for certified,registered massage therapists and most obviously female ones. Eve makes a very valid point on this when she says some more introverted and inexperienced guys don't know this sensation,given in a non sexual but relaxing and beneficial way. I think she's right. This is not going to be easy to do and represents my most serious challenge yet or rather obstacle on this potentially long A and bumpy road called self improvement.
    I wouldn't call myself a polymath but I do identify with that excellent term,"scanner". Only ever having attained work based or vocational degrees of attaining Coaching skills for Weightlifting/Bodybuilding many years ago. This is now ancient history and I've followed down the path set by,not my Dad but my Mum! In being a cleaner pr janitor I think Americans and possibly Canadians say. I'm relatively happy there as pay and conditions ate tolerable. It allows me to still lift weights at the new gym I've joined,which is mixed and has broaden my exposure to women. My natural curiosity about life in general remains high. We should never cease to be curious ask questions.I've picked up a couple of very apt sayings from one of the Teachers at my School. Like this"If you are determined not to learn,you cannot be helped.If you are determined to learn,no one can stopp you!" Or,"Every expert was once a beginner"
    Eve,I feel that by now,through your degree of being Scanner like,imagine just how many people,possibly globally have been helped and in life enhancing ways! Depite the Medical world losing out in one way you are adding a great deal of good to the World and all it's people,potentially,by being diverted down the path you are on. This can only be a positive and if we can contribute as many positives to life then our passing through it will have been time wisely spent.

    More success to you in all things Eve!


  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-04-04 02:46:07 (UTC)

    I think as a kid I might've been a scanner when it came to reading. I probably read over half the books in my school's library, on all sorts of non-fiction ranging from astronomy, to geology, to dinosaurs, to ancient civilizations. I don't think I was a particularly scholastic student, but the eclectic factoids I picked up from reading all those books cemented my status as a brain among my peers for years. :) For the record, math is also my Achilles heel. I'm fascinated by scientific discoveries, but my brain gets all frazzled when I see the explanatory equations and algorithms. :P

    I so needed to hear this. I'm one of the scanner cases doing low-paying/low-status jobs because I cannot commit to a single career path, compounded by the possibility that I may NEVER know what my career path is. I thought about the lucrative skilled trades, but I wouldn't want to be a pipe fitter or electrician my whole life. I do like variety. I work at one company where I wear several hats from client-facing to back-end operations positions, and I'm really getting a comprehensive view of that company's workings because of that. And despite a lower income I don't really worry over much about home ownership in a city where even married, well-salaried professionals with dual incomes are already finding it difficult to afford homes and start families. I prefer to focus on what I do have, among them a computer that can connect to the Internet.

    So I finally get to hear why you turned away from a lucrative and high-status field like medicine, when so many students are absolutely DYING to get in. I wasted the first two years of my time in university trying to gain admission to the BSc. pharmacy program which is just as competitive, but I was hopeless at calculus and organic chem. And in the back of my mind I knew it was also the pressure of expectation from family rather than what I was good at and wanted to do. Had I found myself on the pre-med track and turned aside, I think I would've been practically disowned, haha.

    I really admire your determination to succeed despite the long odds, and that fortuitous moment of mental clarity about your future and what you wanted to do with your life, not to mention the impressive feat of plotting an entire novel in less than a day (I gotta start listening to this soon!) Still, it must've felt like a huge sacrifice at the time to drop two years of grueling effort. I know it did for me, but thanks in no small part to your sage advice I know now to grieve for that loss and put away the regret for good.

    Another marvelous episode of Under the Covers, Eve. Thank you so much! **wipes away a tear**

    • A Eve on 2017-04-07 22:53:35 (UTC)

      Aww, I'm so glad you're enjoying these Charlie! 💋

  • TheSnakeInTheGarden on 2016-05-18 18:00:43 (UTC)

    Damn it, Eve. You keep teaching me new things about myself everyday by simply listening to you, and managing to awaken new corners of my life.

    You are living the good life. Even if you don't have everything that you dreamed of, but trust me, I know it in you that you are happy already the way you are and the life you live today.

    Thanks to this audio, I realized and managed to ressurect my inner scaner, and now, I know what I should do with my life and my future.

    I'm grateful to come across your page and your audios. You mean a lot to me, Eve. For what you have thought me, there isnko way that ai can pay you back for this. But I will do this, I will make a great future for myself and to raise my family out of poverty.

    • A Eve on 2016-05-18 18:17:11 (UTC)

      That's so great to hear! Thank you!

    • A Eve on 2016-04-20 11:41:36 (UTC)

      Oh he sounds great, I'll definitely look him up :D

  • leytod on 2016-03-30 22:34:05 (UTC)

    I think you're wise to loosen the schedule and do UTC episodes on an "as inspired" basis. They're my favourite (so far) of your works so I hope that we haven't heard the last of them.

    • A Eve on 2016-03-30 22:40:29 (UTC)

      Aw, thank you! I won't stop altogether, it's just a schedule thing. Thank you though, that's very nice to hear :D

  • YouAreMySunshine on 2016-03-28 08:01:03 (UTC) (edited)

    You fatiguing your vocals for the "self imposed deadline" is the worst we all would expect of you!!
    Please don't go out of your way for doing these audios,
    Because if You ain't gonna be well, we ain't gonna be well!
    And don't worry about any delay in uploading your audios, because the delay will definitely end up making it all the more sweeter!! :)
    And this episode, like every other episode, is right on point!
    You own a piece of my heart, You're an angel in disguise!!
    Take care ♥

    • A Eve on 2016-03-28 11:47:38 (UTC)

      Aw, thank you. It makes me feel so good to know you guys are behind me on this. Thank you 💋

  • FallenKnight71 on 2016-03-28 04:03:50 (UTC) (edited)

    Can't wait to listen to this before I go to bed m'lady Eve:) Anything you need to do to save that wondrously beautiful voice then do it. All of us here want to enjoy you and your fantastic audios for a long long time:D

    • A Eve on 2016-03-28 11:47:11 (UTC)

      Thank you! I want to keep making them! ❤️

  • STEVE4EVE on 2016-03-28 02:18:13 (UTC)

    Eve, you did become a doctor, a very good one. This perspective, like so much of what you do, is very healing.

    Thanks especially for prescribing a regular dose of Barbara Sher. Isn't she wonderful!

    About learning lots of different things... there's a great TED talk by Josh Kaufmann who explains how we can learn anything in 20 hours.

    Best wishes, Eve, for all your upcoming projects.

    • A Eve on 2016-03-28 11:48:05 (UTC)

      Aw, thank you! What sweet things you say, my dear friend. ❤️

  • cuddle_with_me on 2016-03-27 20:45:08 (UTC) (edited)

    I'm a restless soul with my fingers in many pots too and a habit of feeling bad about not finishing stuff. I'd be interested in your take on starting projects but not getting them done, vs using many of your disparate talents. Da Vinci obviously managed to keep a lot of things on a slow burn, I'm sure interspersed with bursts of focus on one or a few things. That's what we all do but more or less successfully, and I very often feel like my gut wants to eat me from the inside when I don't make "enough" progress on stuff.

    This was a good episode and I'm happy that you shared that personal note with us. It's the first time I've heard the term Scanner! (The nerd in me notes that the old standard for scanners, the ones you plug into computers and swear at, was called TWAIN, which brings to mind Mark Twain, who sounds like a Scanner personality...)

    I am looking forward to future UTC episodes arriving on a schedule that doesn't stress you out, is easy on your voice and stays interesting. 😘

    • A Eve on 2016-03-27 20:56:33 (UTC)

      Thank you cuddles! TWAIN, that brings back memories!

      Barbara Sher's books talk a lot about that kind of malaise one feels when you don't get enough done. I'd recommend them!