Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 23: Aftersex

18:36 Under the Covers with Eve episode 23 / 34 Feb 14, 2016 23 comments 4434 1231

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This week I avoid all talk of the dreaded Cupid, and focus instead on something that doesn't have a name but which should, I think. Aftersex.

What is your aftersex experience?

What happens in the body after orgasm


Other audios in Under the Covers with Eve


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  • charles on 2020-03-22 22:10:15 (UTC)

    ..is it really okay to indulge in extreme or taboo fantasies? How can I tell if they're "just a fantasy" or not?

    ...and what if they end up being the only way to excite me?

    • A Eve on 2020-03-27 03:15:42 (UTC)

      I think that's beyond the scope of what I can comment on. If you are disturbed by your fantasies, please talk to a mental health professional about them, you may be surprised at how normal a lot of fantasies actually are.

  • Johnny88 on 2019-07-08 18:12:57 (UTC) (edited)

    first things pretty much are whiping the sweat off my head and trying to catch my breath ... maybe some kind of spontaneous "feel good shout".after that it comes pretty much down to what mood i was before starting.

    also how can men hurt themselves by wanking too fast?

    • A Eve on 2019-07-10 22:21:40 (UTC) (edited)

      Mostly due to not enough lube - it gets too dry, and the friction causes skin irritations

      • Johnny88 on 2019-07-25 16:05:52 (UTC) (edited)

        ah ok. im probably too european to ever have thought about these kinds of "circumcised dick" problems (where i live this is not the norm), but now picturing this, it really make me wanna laugh and cry a little. It seems allmost like a (minor) disability^^.

        • A Eve on 2019-07-28 20:36:31 (UTC)

          It definitely can be, for a lot of men. There is a lot of interest stopping in the routine circumcision of baby boys now, which up until recently was incredibly common in North America.

  • ThatoneBritishidiot on 2019-05-04 00:35:05 (UTC)

    Personally I love, well self-love and I think it sucks that others can't enjoy that sense of relief and tension melting a good orgasm can give you because they feel ashamed. As far as my after self-love experience, after about 5 minutes I feel buzzed and energetic. Thanks for the content Eve.

    • A Eve on 2019-05-09 13:27:49 (UTC)

      My pleasure! Thank you for listening ❤️

  • Nikom on 2017-10-02 00:46:45 (UTC)

    The topic is really deep. It's widely known how sexual arousal kinda shuts down some mental systems, so i.e. we feel way less of disgust and even pain. Yet I haven't ever heard a discussion of what contrast of feelings men face right after orgasm, even though the problem must be very common. I really feel like that's the root of all sexshaming. I know I'm pretty late. I keep exploring the series and do feel to it. Nearly every episode. What a revelation it could be to me even a year ago! And it still can be to many people. Just epic! I also wonder the way you gather information. It seems I'd love to talk to you for hours :) but won't like to bother you. Please let me know if I can help.

    • A Eve on 2017-10-03 20:30:05 (UTC)

      I'm glad you enjoy this series, I try to introduce people to things I've heard about and thought about, there can be a lot of bad information out there.

    • A Eve on 2016-04-05 21:34:13 (UTC)

      Thank you, that's lovely of you to say. I definitely agree - the majority of men are wonderful, and I like how you put it, living lives of quiet integrity. I want to reward those men ❤️

  • MadWithLust on 2016-03-08 11:23:21 (UTC)

    I love the intimacy of sex so I love cuddly aftersex. Self love can get uncomfortable for me because after the orgasm, I feel kind of empty and there's no one to connect those good hormones to. Cleaning up also seems to take me out of the boneless chicken position! :P

    • A Eve on 2016-03-09 18:32:04 (UTC)

      haha well I'd say let the clean up wait :D

  • STEVE4EVE on 2016-02-16 18:14:13 (UTC)

    Here's a simple but effective way to banish shame and guilt from your after-sex experience.
    1. Before sex or masturbation, consciously acknowledge what you are about to do, and CHOOSE how you would like to feel afterwards: proud, refreshed, deeply relaxed, joyful, free... Choose anything you want.
    2. Then, for just 60 seconds or so, close your eyes, breathe deep and slow, empty your mind and vividly imagine FEELING the feeling you have chosen. Notice the the looseness in your body, the glow deep inside, the smile on your face, the tingling all over... (60 seconds is roughly half a dozen slow, deep breaths.)
    3. AFFIRM to yourself, "This is how I will feel afterwards!" Then go do whatever you were about to do, as much as you like for as long as you like... And notice how you feel afterwards.
    I find it also helps to recall the bit in this recording where Eve says, "Do this, for me."
    (This works on all sorts of other things, too, not just sex.)

    • A Eve on 2016-02-17 12:58:37 (UTC)

      haha, yes, if nothing else, do it for me!

      Good advice, Steve!

  • cuddle_with_me on 2016-02-15 21:42:42 (UTC) (edited)

    I used to feel a lot worse sometimes after a good self-love session - having the all too common "waking up from a dream, pretending like I didn't just do that" reaction. That's mostly gone nowadays, and the only extent to which it isn't is the extent to which habits are hard to break and leave an imprint for years. But I'm feeling a lot better. And for what it's worth, I've never had trouble assuming the boneless chicken position either, even when I've felt my worst, and that has saved the experience for me on more than one occasion. It's really sweet to just baste in that. 😘 And thanks for waking me up to this and making me think of it.

    • A Eve on 2016-02-16 12:17:11 (UTC)

      Well progress not perfection, as they say. If you can feel better about it even some of the time, that's a great sign. :D

  • Jandrusel on 2016-02-15 14:29:38 (UTC) (edited)

    I rarely enjoy the aftersex. I need to have time and be really relaxed, otherwise, I just get back to work instantly. Sadly, I'm still trying to figure out how to pleasure myself. The guilt is 'mostly' gone, but once you're done pleasuring yourself, porn (or even erotic audio, for that matter) feels less attractive and entertaining. Like, coming back to your rational self and wondering 'how did this turned me on so much?'

    One of my very first orgasms happened with your audio 'The JOI of afterglow'. It was intense, to the point of tears, and I fell sleep right away. I never knew what an orgasm was until that day. And that was last year. So yeah, I still have a lot progress to make.

    ...Sometimes, I think I'll never be able to enjoy my body or sex in the same way other men of my age do. Thank you, Eve. And sorry for being a little sadsack today.

    • A Eve on 2016-02-16 12:21:13 (UTC)

      Oh don't worry about it! Most people feel that way about porn etc after they are no longer horny. In fact, if you want to understand how anti-porn activists feel, try looking at porn when you're not horny - you can see it the way they do then. :D

      But for me, the most important thing to remember is that there are all sorts of biological things we experience that seem unappealing when we're no longer in that state. When you're starving you'll eat almost anything, but when you're full even the sight of food can make you turn away. Or when you're dead tired all you want to do is sleep, but have you ever tried going to bed when you aren't sleepy? You just lie there and stare at the ceiling and wish you could get up. Sex is no different - so just enjoy it when you're horny, and don't worry about it when you're not.

      And I'm so glad I could be part of one of your first orgasms, that's awesome!

  • OmnisiahsAcolyte on 2016-02-15 06:13:02 (UTC)

    Well. This is the first Under the Covers I've listened to and my oh my have I been missing out.

    The points you brought up about guilt after masturbation really struck a chord with me with an experience I had about a year ago. For years I had slowly descended down into more and more taboo things when I masturbated and seemingly out of nowhere one night after I had came I just froze for a minute and processed what I'd just done. And I just broke down, utterly flooded with an incredible sense of self loathing and regret. Truthfully it made my mood just godawful for a week or so after the fact.

    But after sitting down and thinking about it I came to terms with myself and set down the law for myself. I told myself that truthfully there was not a thing to be ashamed of, it was all just fantasies in my head and there was not a thing to be regretful of. And after that I can honestly say I've been the better for it.

    Also funnily enough I've been practicing aftersex, as you've coined it, on my own for the past week or so. After unintentuonally doing it just once. Really it's kind of eye opening just how much more amazing you feel when you just take a minute to slow down and just process things in your head before moving on.

    Thanks for posting this and giving some grand old food for thought Eve I'll be sure to keep note of these more often. And have Happy Cupid Hunting Day.

    • A Eve on 2016-02-16 12:21:59 (UTC)

      Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And I'm really glad that you thought about your own experience and decided not to feel bad about it - that's what I want for everyone ❤️

  • RedKnight on 2016-02-15 02:28:57 (UTC)

    Thank you for this. It helps, and you make some good points.

    As I have said before and will keep saying, at least until you tire of my repeating it:

    *Thank you* for loving men so much!
    You are awesome. Stay that way. :)

    • A Eve on 2016-02-16 12:22:18 (UTC)

      Aw, thanks! I will ❤️