Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 11 : Alpha Male, Beta Male...How about Nu Male?

18:05 Under the Covers with Eve episode 11 / 34 Nov 22, 2015 16 comments 5273 1240

Download (33 MB, MP3)

In this episode, I talk about the concept of alpha male and beta male, where they come from, what they typically mean...

and why you shouldn't try to be either...

Be a Nu man - be a bit of both :D

intro music courtesy afrodrumming.com

Study on fertile women and manly men

Rise of Black Wolf Documentary

Other audios in Under the Covers with Eve


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  • JI1 on 2017-12-23 06:16:58 (UTC)

    The very concept of alpha male is nonsense. In the 60s the behaviorists (behaviorism is not science by any means ) popularized this idea from their observation of wolf ( it was wrong, later they tried to solve their mistake but people were so into the alpha male concept that they didn't give a damn). That wolves have alphas (which they don't . Wolf pack have leaders and leaders are the wisest and most experienced not the most strongest. If you want to define alpha male it would be like "males who are superior in every field of life ". It's impossible for one man to be superior in everything. A man who can swim fast isn't a good marathoner . ( Therefore this alpha male concept has no real value ). *The sooner people realize this the better it is for them and if they don't I don't know what to do.

    • A Eve on 2018-01-04 20:01:56 (UTC)

      Yes, I've read a lot about that mistaken study - and I think more and more people are realizing the problems that come with the supposed 'alpha-male' tendencies. Overall, blended characteristics are far better than a one-dimensional set of behaviors.

  • valor on 2016-12-02 03:54:42 (UTC)

    what's the point of your audios where you tell all men how they're beautiful as they are, and then turn around and talk about how women prefer the brash hot guy to lust after? that whole women wanting a safe man who they can share warm feelings with is bullshit. they "want" that after they feel they can't get the other kind of guy and have had enough heart breaks to have learned her lesson, and then look for safe guy to deal with the emotional mess another dude left her with.

    women have one preference and goal, an alpha male, the beta is a backup she begrudgingly has to deal with at some point. you said it yourself how she feels like she has to mother him and be his rock and how it's clearly not what she wants in a man.

    i am a nu man as you call it, i have a very dominant side as well as a very passionate sensual and sensitive side. but most women make it abundantly clear that they aren't happy unless you are always alpha, unless they think they aren't good enough to find an alpha. i've never had a relationship that didn't fall apart basically days or weeks after i shared my sensitive "beta" side with her. meanwhile the ones i refused to open up to would pine for me as i slowly lost respect and interest for them wanting me specifically because i was out of reach. it goes like this: she's basically a fantasy girl like in one of your audios where all she wants is to please me, then later by her own request i show her other layers of my personality, my softer side etc. in the moment she seems appreciative but every time without fail her respect and attraction for me goes down, and every time i come to realize that being vulnerable with a woman is a stupid mistake, that she may as well have been testing me for "beta weakness" and i failed spectacularly.

    at the end of the day, all the great audios you share with people on here are just fantasies to be indulged in, but the kind of love you preach on here is nowhere near what real life relationships are, not even close.

    that whole be yourself and find someone who appreciates you for who you are is mostly bullshit. be yourself only works when being yourself is considered superior to other men, more alpha than other men. relationships for men is competition, they have to compete for the right to have a woman be attracted to them. that's not love, not even close.

    i can only speak for myself, but all i've ever wanted is something along the lines of some of the audios you've got on here. a sensual passionate woman who loves and appreciates me as i am, no strings attached, no price tags, just me is enough. she doesn't have to be a model, she doesn't have to be rich or a genius, she doesn't even have to have a job or a degree. unfortunately as a man, i have to climb the ladders to be "worthy" of a woman's love. i can't really explain to you how painful it is to have to face that reality, it literally brings me to tears knowing that anyone i meet or date will never actually love me as a person, that really fucking hurts. men love women, period. for every type of woman out there, there will be a men with a fetish for said woman, men not so much unless they bring something extra to the table to "make up" for their "deficiency". society is going to continue to have problems until the women stop and appreciate men in general more, toxic masculinity exists specifically because women are attracted to it. my own father is the poster boy for toxic masculinity, a classic narcissistic abuser, and women loved him for it he was very popular. tell me how i'm supposed to respect women as a gender when it's abundantly clear that abusers like my dad are considered very attractive?

    i hope you don't feel like i'm talking at you or whatever with all this wall of text. this is just a really sore subject for me, and frankly i'd to see an episode from you about women and their own poor choices in men. the truth is unless women actually appreciate beta qualities in men, they're going to slowly die out as a breed like this is becoming a thing where people are talking about alpha and beta even in public. one of my good friends i've known for years, best dude i know like if you ever need anything he'll be there for you. even him he's like yea man women just want to be treated like garbage, don't ever make the mistake of thinking you can golden rule your way into her heart. he went from being frustrated "beta" to women can't get enough of him, and i've had similar experiences myself, as well as every other man i've ever talked about this with. funny enough after enjoying attention for a while he went back to just being a fellow nerdy gamer, it's just not worth it in the long run as you can never be yourself around her, even when she makes it clear that she loves you.

    i think it's the women that decide what kind of men exist. you have the boobs and butt and warm vagina we all want lol, hence we will become what you want us to be because we love you and want you. my abusive father exists BECAUSE my mother and so many other women were attracted to that, she had her chance to choose a healthy and balanced man, or even as you put it a safe man. since when did safety become unattractive lol. this isn't a problem that can be fixed by just men becoming nu males and waiting for their turn. just like the men should look past shallow appearances and look for a good loving partner that cares for them, the women should look use her head and think about finding a stable man, before he's decided to take himself off the market because he's disgusted by what kinds of men women get the hots for.

    • A Eve on 2016-12-02 17:43:05 (UTC)

      I understand your frustration, and you're right, a lot of women make absolutely terrible decisions about men. I wish I could shake women sometimes and wake them up. I feel awful hearing that a lot of men have resigned themselves to treating women 'like garbage' because it's the only way to get a woman interested.

      I know it probably sounds trite, but all I can say is that not all women are like that, and it's worth looking for the ones who aren't.

      I wrote my whole novel Stay With Me about a typical Alpha Male who shows his layers, his vulnerability, his 'beta' side, and is rewarded with the love of a great woman. It may not be much, but it's something I can do to get that idea out there.

  • STEVE4EVE on 2016-02-25 23:01:28 (UTC)

    I like the concept of the Knight. The man who strives to be his best in all he does. He slays a couple of dragons before breakfast, rescues any damsels in distress before lunch, and saves the kingdom from marauding armies in the afternoon.

    In the evening, the Knight scrubs himself clean and presents himself to his Lady, and dedicates himself totally to serving her pleasure. (And a Knight without a Lady to serve is just a vandal.)

    At the end of the day, what makes the Knight is his devotion to the pleasure of his good Lady - which earns him her devotion to raising him to the heights of Bliss.

    With devotion :)

    • A Eve on 2016-02-26 10:33:57 (UTC)

      I love the idea of a Knight, too, Steve. I hereby dub you Sir Steve, Knight of Eve's Garden

    • A Eve on 2015-12-12 20:19:46 (UTC)

      that's true :)

  • leytod on 2015-12-02 13:40:52 (UTC)

    I think you're describing the ancient Greek ideal; athlete, poet, thinker, lover ... The balanced man.

    • A Eve on 2015-12-02 19:36:37 (UTC)

      Sounds great to me! :P

  • MadWithLust on 2015-11-28 18:03:19 (UTC)

    I'm okay with trying to be nu male but I'll need to be finding some nu females too! It's so discouraging to find a crowd of women all throwing themselves at the one alpha male while the rest of us are invisible! :/

    BTW, speaking of romance novels and Alpha male Erik...when does the next chapter of Stay With Me come out??? :D

    • A Eve on 2015-11-28 20:51:58 (UTC)

      awww...thanks for asking! I think tomorrow (Sunday) or Monday at the latest!

      • MadWithLust on 2015-11-28 22:14:39 (UTC)

        Yes! Come on, Alex! I know she can get past that hard candy shell and get into the delicious, chocolatey center that'll melt in her mouth... :P

        • A Eve on 2015-11-29 13:31:52 (UTC)

          haha oh MWL I do love you!

          • MadWithLust on 2015-11-29 15:21:47 (UTC)

            Believe me, the feeling is mutual! :P

  • Jandrusel on 2015-11-22 23:02:26 (UTC)

    Another lovely Under the Covers with Eve. The perfect thing to listen as the week ends (here in Spain, right now, it's Monday midnight)

    Anyways, very interesting topic. From my perspective, the whole 'alpha/beta' thing makes me really mad. As you describe it perfectly, you will always see advertisings like 'Got Laid on 3 Days. Ask Me How' or even books that profit from the desperation of lonely people. And, of course, they're not free. Most, if not every single one of them, treat women like they're nothing more than a walking vagina that, somehow, talks. It really enfuriates me. But people keep falling for that stuff, and that's just how it goes.

    However, It's true that women want both confidence and sensitivity in a man. That can't be denied. But we should all worry less about being 'alpha/beta' and start being happy with who we are. And if you don't like something about yourself, there's always room for improvement. But being a 'pussy magnet' should not be a life objective in any sane man of the 21st century.

    I hope you have a wonderful week, Eve.

    • A Eve on 2015-11-23 12:38:07 (UTC)

      Thank you, same to you!

      I agree, the alpha/beta thing isn't good for anyone. I definitely hope men just focus on who they are, and on finding a woman who appreciates it all.