Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 17: Beauty

32:24 Under the Covers with Eve episode 17 / 34 Jan 03, 2016 25 comments 3129 1090

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This week's episode follows up a point that I raised in last week's episode, something that encouraged a lot of my listeners to respond to - hitting on the hottie. I wanted to clarify some thoughts on that, and talk a bit about my thoughts on beauty in general.

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Links to points I mention in the audio

Dustin Hoffman video

Hidden Ovulation

Beautiful people get more jobs

Mirror Neurons

Jenna Bentley and Ben Brown

Maid Marian isn't hot! Oh NO!

Other audios in Under the Covers with Eve


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  • charles on 2020-03-10 18:47:34 (UTC)

    Hi Eve, I'm a lurker :D

    I'm currently going trough all the UTCs and EGRGs, and I just wanted to say that, whether your theory about the relationship between beauty perception and mirror neurons turns out to be correct or not, I gotta say... I'm impressed! For someone whose profession is not research, you've quite the sharp mind! I mean, it's not that you just happen to know about technical stuff..when you talked about beauty and sexual reproduction, you've proven capable of thinking straight, comparing facts and ideas with a critical eye.

    But, above all.. thanks for all you've been sharing with us :)

    • A Eve on 2020-03-11 01:49:40 (UTC)

      Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the series! xx

  • Johnny88 on 2019-07-11 23:12:15 (UTC) (edited)

    Very BEAUTIFUL audio with alot of truths way too few ppl have internalized. Though the "parts of the world where they dont like women" is horrible to think about (very subtle wording btw). A fear of mine is that the ongoing change in our own society along with mainstream media at some point will have alienated men and women to a point where they dont seek, want or think to need each other anymore and a longlasting relationship becomes something just a cpl of conservatives do and not the standart that we try to achieve (a lifelong relationship pretty much is at this point?). We will have already lost then. Yes recreation aswell asthe search for a partner is human nature but the idials we seek in and things we expect from each other are learned but more often planted and there is a certain trend to see. Listening to these series, you opening heart and soul to the world trying to prevent this and encouraging ppl to find each other really touches me. Thank you for what you do.

    • A Eve on 2019-07-16 23:14:56 (UTC)

      You're so welcome, thank you for listening!

  • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-04-26 11:58:31 (UTC)

    Food for thought Eve,I am bursting! Feels like Christmas day already! I cannot deny I fall into this category of admiring,longingly the stunning,super model woman. However and as you rightly observed in Regular Guys, they are not in abundance,at least not where Joe or Jane average reside! Yet there is an abundance of beautiful people almost literally on our doorsteps. The question is can we or how do we connect with them? Obvious to some and it can come naturally. To others most certainly I,it does not! That is why your advice is so invaluable I feel to anybody that is shy or socially inexperienced,awkward. You have a warm,welcoming manner that instantly settles and calms. Add knowledge that is way deeper than anyone I know. The "mirror neurons",completely new to me and yes I fall into this,behaviour I just could not or would not recognise! I think I am less attracted and even turned off now by regular pornography in all honesty,it isn't as appealing as I once found it. The beauty of the women in which you opened my eyes to at bodyinmind,way more so! Yet, I also consider these women to be so much more above,highly desirable and yes as you stress why not,what the average fella or even woman could realistically expect to get closer to. We have to centre our efforts at the beauty much more closer to home. You make some very good points on being able to embrace all types of woman,pardon the expression! Whilst on that,here in the UK in general and perhaps in my neighbourhood and certainly in my family,the idea of a warm,loving but friendly embrace is frowned upon.Rarely do it,II only do so with my Mum,once a day without fail regularly. Less so to other family members and this is a major obstacle In this country and possibly others,that ability to let go and just embrace a person,friend or accquaintance to perhaps getting closer to that special someone we admire from afar perhaps. If we can't get close enough to our nearest family to hug them then what chance do we,shy,awkward types of getting near enough to even talk to our "dream ladies"? Of course we listen and learn from you and I feel it's worth stressing the need to be polite and civil to all. The example of the unfortunate lady whose car had broken,where was this,made me groan in displeasure! I'm no car mechanic,can't drive,other than my Mum up the wall from time to time but I would like to think I would have stepped up. Also,always be polite enough to hold doors open and not just for the ladies,gents too! I've had a few doors let go in my face and it bruises the mind a little, think for just a second and you can spare people that insult.

    We,at least those Princes of yours that need the help and sage like advice of the Regular Guy or Under the Covers sections,are works in progress and let me tell you I need a lot of work! With episodes like this we can progress in the right direction!

    Deepest gratitude Eve and can't wait for ep 9 of Regular Guys!

    Thank you!

    • A Eve on 2017-04-27 10:32:20 (UTC)

      You're very welcome!

  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-03-26 06:14:05 (UTC) (edited)

    Another engaging episode, lots of good points.

    A couple 'theories' I've heard about ovulating women is that they supposedly adopt a walking gait that exaggerates the sway of their hips and that their voices rise about 10 Hertz higher in pitch. And then there's a theory that men's intellect declines in the presence of a woman to whom they are attracted. These hypotheses only ever seem to be based on single one-off studies, so it can't be said that the science is robust.

    You raise an intriguing thought about permanently enlarged breasts flying in the face of nature's tendency toward efficiency. When I heard this it made me wonder about menstruation too. I mean, the body spends weeks building up the endometrial lining of the uterus at significant caloric and nutritional cost only to break it down every month if fertilization doesn't occur. Seems pretty wasteful. And unlike breasts it can't really be argued that sexual selection has anything to do with it.

    Websites that pillory women who are deemed unattractive by loser men: I admit I was actually ignorant of their existence prior to your mention of it in this audio. Sadly I cannot say I am surprised though. You must've had to plumb the sewers of the Internet to dredge those up. And there are women out there who do this to other women too, as we have seen last year with the case of Dani Mathers. She's got the sheer looks to become an icon of American beauty that is the Playboy Playmate and yet she harbours such a deep character flaw.

    My nephew who just turned 1 sticks his tongue out like you say, it's so cute, and it's great to have some insight into why this is.

    P.S. The Dustin Hoffman link is dead. Long live this Dustin Hoffman link:

    • A Eve on 2017-03-26 23:11:32 (UTC)

      Thank you for that! And for the new link 💋

  • Lux on 2016-08-16 02:50:06 (UTC)

    Ah yes, the difference between a hot girl and The Hot Girl™

    • A Eve on 2016-08-18 19:29:52 (UTC)

      :D you got it

  • leytod on 2016-01-14 17:54:16 (UTC)

    Another great one! Keep 'em coming!

    • A Eve on 2016-01-14 20:45:21 (UTC)

      Thank you!

  • FallenKnight71 on 2016-01-10 06:50:53 (UTC) (edited)

    I loved this audio Eve:)
    In my relationship history I have found 'hot' women could be very ugly personality wise. Like SomeRandomGuy I learned the hard way. Now, I find a woman that desires me and vocalizes it even in non sexual ways turns me on like nothing else, looks being almost secondary. Yes I'm still attracted to physical beauty but I learned to temper that. I find that cute girls tend to be the most open sexually and want it more.
    I do have a confession about physical beauty. I've never been much of a boob man or butt man. I love long hair, eyes, lips, shoulders and backs. I haven't figured out where I picked up that last two but a strong well shaped set of shoulders and back on a woman always gets to me.:P
    Thanks Eve for that beautiful brain, voice and everything else of yours:)

    • A Eve on 2016-01-11 11:32:39 (UTC)

      Thank you so much, that's so lovely!

      And it's great that you're finding out what you like in terms of beauty - that's what counts, not some pre-packaged ideal that you're supposed to like

  • SomeRandomGuy on 2016-01-06 22:37:55 (UTC) (edited)

    I've always told myself since an early age that the 'hot' women does not have a good personality and/or would not like me (I've come to learn this the hard way multiple times as a kid), so the men who do only go for the hotties have always seemed childish in my eyes.

    I'm more than content with a cute girl, which to me is hard to not come by as almost all girls are cute to me.

    • A Eve on 2016-01-08 19:48:09 (UTC)

      Well I think that's awesome, we need more guys like you!

      I'm with you, almost all guys are cute to me too

  • RedKnight on 2016-01-04 02:59:14 (UTC)

    [Honest reaction to the latter part of this audio. No over-arching negativity / downer intended.]

    There are times that, as a Southern gentleman, I feel that I am nearly the last of a dying breed. We used to have greater numbers / kindred spirits. It can be somewhat frustrating.

    *End miniature rant*

    • A Eve on 2016-01-04 12:56:13 (UTC)

      Well, I for one appreciate some good old fashioned southern hospitality...💋

      • RedKnight on 2016-01-05 01:39:18 (UTC)

        Which shall be joyously extended to you, should you ever come to visit. :)

        • A Eve on 2016-01-05 15:16:35 (UTC) (edited)

          I've probably been wherever you are, I traveled all over the States when I lived in Canada - I think there's only about 10 states I haven't been to, all on the West Coast (and AK and HI)

          • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-03-26 15:11:53 (UTC)

            Wow, that's impressive. I haven't travelled before so I'm always awed by people who do it extensively, like this young woman:


            or those teenaged mariners who sail solo circumnavigations around the world by age 17.

            For now at least, I have Google Earth to see the world. :)

            • A Eve on 2017-03-26 23:12:31 (UTC)

              oh I know, those kids make me feel so...lazy?

          • RedKnight on 2016-01-06 02:23:57 (UTC) (edited)

            [. . . Either my luck or Murphy's Law]
            I live in Alabama.

  • Pogo on 2016-01-04 02:48:49 (UTC)

    Makes you wonder what dresses would look like if women had retractable boobs :D

    I think you're 100% right on the 'looks vs personality' part. I've worked with a lot of models and there is probably one in ten that I can hold a conversation with before I find them to be vacuous, conceited or vicious. Its very unfortunate but sadly says enough about my character if I find I still want to give them one. I'm really glad I'm growing out of that.

    Your fledgling theory about 'mirror neurons' holds water for me. I recognised some of those traits in myself so there could be something to it.

    Great work as ever Eve :) xx

    • A Eve on 2016-01-04 12:56:41 (UTC)

      Thank you Pogo! Retractable boobs - wow, sometimes that would be such a relief... :D