Eve's Guide for Regular Guys: Episode 11 - Developing Your Own Philosophy

30:58 Eve's Guide For Regular Guys episode 11 / 19 Jun 17, 2017 25 comments 7264 1828

Download (42 MB, MP3)

This episode is about figuring out your own moral code and developing your own general philosophy of life, and why it's so important when it comes to finding a lasting relationship.

Here are some links that might interest you

Basics of philosophy

The Churchill School of Adulthood - from the Art of Manliness

How Do I Develop a Personal Code of Ethics?

The Wallet Drop Experiment

Vatican celebrates big bang theory

Other audios in Eve's Guide For Regular Guys


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  • Adreamer on 2022-07-27 03:48:04 (UTC)

    I tried to get a girlfriend for so long since i was 12 years old i mean i love woman, but i was like very shy today i am 25 years old still single, but never give up i Was feeling very frustrated some times even angry so many problems in my life and i just wonder how to make it all better, your guide helps to improve myself, if it helps to attract woman or not, it is helpfull to improve life in many ways Kinda all your Videos, i feel less lonly thanks to you, been listening for some time and now i just have to say thank you. Listening to you helps a lot to let go stress no idea how you do it but it works i have been through a lot of trauma and i do a lot to fight negative thoughts anxiety and stress, Sport, meditation, tea even tried binaural beats against stress and frequencys like 528 hz there are lots of " relaxing music " Videos on Youtube, after a while i found your relief stress video you are the best medicin i could find thank you

    • A Eve on 2022-07-28 11:45:20 (UTC)

      That is very lovely of you to say, thank you! I'm so glad I'm able to help a bit! xx

  • JI1 on 2017-12-08 15:47:34 (UTC)

    Just registered a commenting account to say what a great series it is. I've learnt more things from you than my entire life of surfing the web. THANK YOU.

    • Nineart on 2018-02-03 22:37:25 (UTC)

      You too? I was curious about other things but this is certainly one of the best resources on the internet for the more socially inept, like me :D

      • A Eve on 2018-02-05 21:50:15 (UTC)

        That is so sweet of you to say, thank you! 💋

    • A Eve on 2017-12-09 21:36:27 (UTC)

      Thank you so much! I'm so glad it's useful for you, thanks for commenting! xox

  • JohnLast on 2017-08-06 01:02:45 (UTC)

    I have to say that my jaw dropped when I have listened to all Your discourse. Honestly. I'm VERY impressed. You have opened my eyes for what am I looking for a few years. It is so simply, but so important. Why they don't teach such a things in schools?... :-)

    Thank You Eve.

    • A Eve on 2017-08-06 18:46:42 (UTC)

      You're very welcome! Thank you for the wonderful compliment! 😘

  • joetinla1967 on 2017-06-19 15:59:14 (UTC)

    Good morning Miss Eve, as a young kid fresh out of school I made a conscious decisions to join the military (Marine Corps) and a few of the many positive things I gained from that experience was commitment, self discipline and mental toughness that has helped me throughout my whole life, but the one bad thing that I feel I gained from that was also that I was for lack of a better word being programmed in a certain way of thinking which I have tried my best to break myself of that, now as I've aged I have become very opened minded in religion, politics and many other things while keeping my own views in hand, I was raised primeraly by a very strong woman (my mother) who also instilled a high regard for respect of myself and others and to be honest she was tougher than any drill sergeant I could have ever had, I'm constantly working on improving myself, for the most part patience and above all respect for myself and others are a big part of my personal mission also I've realized that there's always room for improvement regardless of what you know or what you think you know, never give up on improving yourself and after several years of riding a bumpy road this past year has definitely been looking up you've had a big part in that, so thank you very much.

    • A Eve on 2017-06-19 21:31:28 (UTC)

      I've always been impressed by the self-discipline I see in military people, but I'm more impressed when you can take that discipline and use it for expanding your horizons and improving your life. And I salute (see what I did there :P) all the kick-ass moms out there who raised great sons, I know it can't be easy. I'm not a mom but if I were, I'd like to think I'd kick kid butt into great adults :P

      • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-06-20 04:42:14 (UTC)

        Hey Eve a couple of hours after listening to this audio and looking at the wallet drop link I took a walk through a nearby park, it being gloriously hot weather here right now and on a bench I came across two mobiles and a car zapper, you know the electronic thingamee! Immediately I began scanning the park for likely owners and approached a group of Mums with kids on the playground equipment, no joy there but one mentioned this could be a kind of you tube experiment! She advised I hand them in at the Police station. As I made my way back to town to do this out of sheer luck I hit the zapper when passing a VW van and it lit up, parked outside a light engineering plant. I searched for an entry. It was closed for an hour lunch break.!I I half expected to be chased down by a team of people like in the link as I entered the shoe shop neighbour of said plant. The checkout operator agreed to go in when they opened for business and return them for me. I'll not likely get to know if there was a successful reunion with but I felt good knowing that I got them close. Yes you would turn any kids out into the big, wide world as perfect ambassadors for humankind, I've no doubt. Respect Joetinla! Please tell some more of your service record!

        • A Eve on 2017-06-20 08:22:06 (UTC)

          Good for you Lea! Just so you know, if it had been an experiment, the producers would have come up to you and told you and asked you to sign a release. That's why the faces of the 'dishonest' people in those audios are blurred out - the producers didn't approach them to sign a release, obviously :)

          • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-06-22 02:02:28 (UTC)

            I see, again I am enlightened by a fact I didn't know till just now, thank you Eve! Yes Joe, really, I would! I like to hear veterans experiences of service.

      • joetinla1967 on 2017-06-20 00:08:45 (UTC)

        I'm sure you would.

  • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-06-19 06:28:36 (UTC)

    Man, this episode is a biggie, how do you do it Eve! It's crammed with such excellent thoughts and I'm with Charlie on seeing it as a capstone for the series but can we please see a nice, round dozen? A quirk of mine and anyhow just when I think you have reached a peak Eve, you go on to set the bar even higher, like an Olympic athlete of the highest calibre! The one thing that struck me watching the wallet drop was how the fella didn't really thank the returnee that much. I would have stopped my conversation entirely and removed my head from the mobile to more fully engage with the person and thank them profusely! I'm guilty of losing so many items recently and that awful realisation that something is missing hits hard so to be rescued as he was on the majority of occasions is heartening to see. The Churchill link is just so interesting to read too, very much a perfect way to illustrate your message here Eve! Bravo!

    • A Eve on 2017-06-19 21:33:38 (UTC)

      Aww, thank you Lea! I may do one more, or several more, I'm not setting any pre-determined length to this series.

      I think in the wallet experiment, the idea was not to give any social reinforcement for returning the wallet. For instance, if he was effusively thankful (the way people in real life often are), then that person is more likely to return wallets etc next time. The point of experiments like this is to give absolutely no social encouragement, rather to see what people are truly like completely on their own.

  • Georgio36 on 2017-06-18 02:54:44 (UTC)

    Hmm I really I had to meditate on this one Eve haha. Moral code & believing in something real that you feel strongly about; is such a wonderful quality every good person in general should have. My moral code comes from how my parents & my grandmother raised me. They always thought me to be true to myself & other's. Of course I was raised in a religious family & God is very important to us. A lot of what me & my family have or accomplished today comes from him. Of course we all have to work hard to get those things. I feel God gives us the tools to do those things. I know not everyone is religious & that's OK. As long as we believe in what's right & doing good by other's; it's fine. Last half of my moral code comes from my experiences in life, my mistakes & from meeting other good people such as yourself 😊.

    I don't fault anyone who has different interests than me. As long as we can chill, communicate well; it's all good. The same way I am with my friends, & family; is the same way I am with someone who I just meet. I will speak up if I don't like something or if I feel someone is wrong. I totally feel you on what you said about you being vegan (& that's totally OK). Just cuz someone is different from us or vise versa; doesn't make any of us better than the other. I know a good hearted woman who is a vegan & I eat meat (mainly just fish) & we get along just fine & have good talks. I even get cool vegan cooking tips from her. So I can pretty get along with anyone with a good heart. All in all, thank you for being a great teacher, a great woman, & a friend. Even if it's just here. You really did your thing on this Eve 💐. Have a lovely day & I'm sorry this got long lol

    • A Eve on 2017-06-18 20:08:36 (UTC)

      Thanks Georgio, that's exactly what I mean. You're a man of faith, and that works beautifully for you. You know who you are, and you're comfortable being with people who aren't like you. If more people were like you, I think the world would be a more peaceful place ❤️

      • Georgio36 on 2017-06-18 20:40:46 (UTC)

        Wow! Thanks Eve, that means a lot that you say that 😊. Women like you make this world a peaceful place. Take care 🌸

  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-06-17 22:46:58 (UTC) (edited)

    While I hope this is not some penultimate episode of your Guide, if it were it'd be an excellent capstone to everything you have discussed up to this point. I remember you speaking in a past UTC about not being a 'social chameleon' and that was me as a teenager; living for approval. But it's not something I regret or beat myself up about; as teens many just want to fit in anywhere we can. I started to think about personal philosophy when I got the vote, and I'm satisfied with my overall progress developing my personal convictions. My job's dulled my aversion to confrontation so I've nothing save my filter holding me back from standing up for my principles no matter who it offends. But I'm a middle-of-the-road Canadian and just too goddamn diplomatic to do that often, eh? :P Picking up a bit of self-defence has helped a lot in the spinal department too, though I'm still 'mostly harmless'. I connect this dishonest wishy-washiness of which you speak to being self-less - nobody respects you for it because there is nothing there to respect. Unless someone respects mirrors.

    I'm not a crusty old barnacle, so my moral/value system isn't likewise immutable. Your Guides offer glimpses into a different personal philosophy from which I may learn and adopt aspects not merely to be agreeable to Eve, but because they appeal to me as plain good sense after mindful evaluation. Your sex-positivity for instance was huge for me because it helped me free myself from an unhealthy preoccupation with porn and reboot my sexuality and attitude toward women. It's been a liberating change in my life and I'm thankful to you for that. I'm cool with vegetarians, and not once did I think you were militant about it; you certainly didn't judge me when I said in a past comment that I'd likely never be able to give up meat, and I appreciated it. In your talk about sunscreen, I looked into animal testing and the abuse I've seen would horrify anyone with even a passing interest in animals into making the effort to be a more ethical consumer. Last week I picked up a cruelty-free toothpaste from JĀSÖN and it wasn't even a big adjustment in either mouthfeel or price. :) Will overhaul all my toiletries as they deplete.

    The wallet experiment. Penny posted a questionnaire which had a similar question about one million in untraceable bills.

    Thank you for taking the time to craft another awesome installment of Eve's Guide that made a normally dense subject very accessible; it takes someone well-versed in the subject to pare it down to its essence as you do. I didn't take Philosophy 101 in uni, so I'm not even a neophyte.

    PS: It's cool you've read Hitchhiker's. I got the beautifully bound 'Almost Definitive Edition' anthology on Amazon. When I can get a point-and-shoot I'll post a pic on Insta :)

    • A Eve on 2017-06-18 20:07:02 (UTC)

      JASON is a great brand, and kudos to you for knowing where all those weird letters are on the keyboard :P

      I love HHGTTG - I've recorded every book for my best friend who is a huge fan, I'm on Mostly Harmless now :)

      • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-06-18 21:39:28 (UTC)

        I Google 'alt codes' for typing special characters, that or just copy and paste. And if your bestie is who I think, then they really deserve such a fine gift from you. :)

        Reading HHGTTG reveals to me just how often it's been referenced in pop culture (not that I'm surprised). Reading the source after encountering the references adds an extra dimension of surreality that I don't think Adams intended - but it's great!

        • A Eve on 2017-06-19 21:34:50 (UTC)

          I agree, it is pretty pervasive, in a great way. I've enjoyed watching Adams speak on various subjects and he was quite an erudite man, very enjoyable to listen to. So sad he left us too soon :(

  • billymacorbuddy on 2017-06-17 16:22:21 (UTC)

    At first I was surprised to see 'your philosophy' as a topic, but when I thought about it, it's so obviously important that, of course, it should be included in the guide series. It goes right along with being your own self.

    For myself, I solidified my life philosophy about 10 years ago. I know that I am a better person because of it. And it has touched every aspect of my life and I think I see the world more clearly as a result.

    I just want to underscore one thing that Eve said. Don't be afraid to change your philosophy, opinions, etc., when presented with new evidence that is convincing to you. That's the way you should approach matters. You aren't weak or wishy-washy because you changed your mind.

    Thanks Eve, this was a great guide and very important for building a good foundation.

    • A Eve on 2017-06-18 20:05:27 (UTC)

      Thanks Billy, that's absolutely true, and I hope it's something everyone takes away from this - believing in things for reasons makes it possible to change your mind. Blind faith, so to speak, or blind obedience in something you once believed, is never a good idea.