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• UndergroundMan on 2026-06-28 21:50:36 (UTC)

  Hello Eve. I’ve been a casual listener for a while, but I guess this kind of topic has been like a final push to comment or participate. It’s an interesting topic, and seeing that this is the first episode is promising.

  I see that I’m a bit late and the second one is out already; it took me a while to organize my thoughts about this. In the end, I decided to just talk about my own feelings or thoughts. But I’m sure that what I say could apply to a fair number of those shy or timid guys. For context: I’ve always been the kind of person that’s nice and polite but also quiet, shy, and introverted. So, when you mentioned guys who aren’t crazy confident or don't have the kind of personality that gives it a shot despite the rejection, I figured that I could fit.

  • UndergroundMan on 2026-06-28 21:50:58 (UTC)

    Like others have said, I think I’d have to be very sure that there’s some interest. Maybe her going out of her way to interact with me or showing interest in my life. Maybe checking me out too, although I don’t really know if many girls do that. Otherwise, it would feel like I’m only bothering her, almost like an imposition. If she’s not interested in me, what are the odds that approaching would be a good experience for any of us? You mention in a reply that women want to be approached by a worthy man, but am I him? If there’s no sign of interest, it’s not likely. Especially if she notices that I’m not confident, she’s had to deal with this several times already, or she thinks that I’m only approaching because I just care about her body.

    • UndergroundMan on 2026-06-28 21:51:14 (UTC)

      You also mention in another comment that very few women are confident about men, but in my case, I feel the opposite. Like I’m the one having to prove my worth, that I have something to offer, and that she’s the one that has no reason to reject me gently. Even if I’m not at risk of being humiliated or assaulted, as is unfortunately the case for many women. Irrational, maybe, but that’s how it feels.

      Besides that, I don’t really see what’s wrong with a woman approaching the man, and I’m sorry to hear that your experiences doing that were bad. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit self-conscious or maybe because I’m not usually complimented, but if a woman approached me, I think I’d feel flattered. I don’t know why I should look down on her or anything. In fact, I’d respect her more for putting herself in that vulnerable situation.

• Ghostvilry on 2026-06-21 00:02:51 (UTC)

  Well eve I'm a young man but I've only dated twice so I don't know how much that counts for but I'll do my best, from my experience when I dated the first time in my life I acted casual, which I suppose is a form of confidence I suppose. But I had my reasons for that. First off personally I don't want to date anyone I can't be comfortable around, I don't see the point of acting like someone else or being to careful with words if I can't treat them like I treat my own friends, because I want to build a connection with them as friends first before anything. And this girl was a nervous wreck, I actually thought she had self esteem issues so I did take a gentle approach which is fine again I don't like acting like a jackass, we hung out on chats and calls for a few months, before she disappeared and came back a few weeks later, who knows what happened between that time but she apparently was comfortable enough around me to start flirting. I asked her if she was and she said yes.

  • Ghostvilry on 2026-06-21 00:16:33 (UTC)

    But we got distant and I guess she got bored with me, she never did tell me much as to why, wasn't exactly as forthcoming as I would have hoped from her and honestly I don't know why I tolerated it for so long, maybe it's due to my aversion for conflict and I got really hung up for months in my brain on what did I do wrong? Anyway the next date was a lot faster and communication between us was better. It probably helped that she was very open about herself and set boundries straight. And I honestly did as I did before acted casual, (which I now realize I probably should clarify, is mostly me being a little cordial, pun-speaking with dad jokes and some words of wry sarcasm and irony at both of our expense because I love self depreciating humor and like uplifting other people), too bad she was a gold digger. Lastly isn't really a date but it was still a young woman, let's call her noya, I met noya by accident via discord.

    • Ghostvilry on 2026-06-21 00:32:29 (UTC)

      Noya introduced herself politely because I sent a dm to her when I intended it for someone else, I told her as much, I could dig up the chat but it basically went in a direction where we just first apologized to eachother and then in went into a thing where we talked about our hobbies then shit talked eachother, it was awesome. We instantly became friends, but we both had gone through relationship issues and promised we would never cross that with eachother and stay as friends, God I love her, that woman is literally the closest thing I've ever had to a sister. Point is although I never had as much trouble talking to women like I thought I would, the best experience that I have is always going in with no expectations and pretend your talking to someone your basically already familiar with. It's always worked for me, and I always wished people could talk like that with me. I mean I like attractive women, but I know I can live with a woman who can take a joke and keep me real, sensitive

      • A Eve on 2026-06-26 20:30:33 (UTC)

        Thanks for sharing your experiences, I think your examples show how different women can be in relationships, and how differently you can feel around certain women. I think you've come out of it with a good sense of what you need - the ability to be comfortable and yourself around someone. And bonus, you have a wonderful friend who might be able to give you some advice about women should you ever want it.

• PlasticMan on 2026-06-17 07:49:14 (UTC)

  I love listening to your audios eve you get me cumming so fast.

  • A Eve on 2026-06-17 23:51:57 (UTC)

    Thank you! At least that's something clear about what a man wants!

• OnAirLoveAffair on 2026-06-13 01:40:27 (UTC)

  The questions Eve asked in this audio have really captured my interest. I stand by my comments below, encouraging women to make the first move when they feel motivated about a guy. The rules should not state that one sex or the other has that responsibility. For me, I find a confident woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind irresistible, even if I’m not physically attracted to her.

  Since the 1960s women have (rightfully!!) been fighting for equal footing. I take that seriously. I am surprised that “wanting to be pursued” still resonates with women IRL, outside of fantasy land. I think many men who grew up in the 1970s and later don’t expect that, and some may feel uncomfortable with it. There’s a fine line between “pursuing” and “stalking”.

  For me, no means no. Maybe means not now. Unless a clear yes is conveyed, I assume it’s a no. Trying to push further (pursue her) risks her annoyance and outright rejection of me. It’s so hard for me to find the courage in the first place.

  • A Eve on 2026-06-17 23:32:02 (UTC)

    I recorded a whole audio response to this, and then decided this could end up going down a huge rabbit hole, so let me to paraphrase myself.

    1. Very few women are confident around men. This is largely because men (in general) can often be incredibly blunt, rude, and even cruel to women they don't find attractive. I've been insulted out car windows, called names by guys walking past me on the street, etc - and I'm not alone. Guys don't 'friendzone' girls they don't want to fuck, so if we have feelings for a guy, it's a huge risk to just be direct about it. His rejection would not be gentle. Confident women are confident for a reason - they know they're hot, they know guys want them.

    2. Women want to be pursued by a worthy man - so someone they already find attractive. This is why this is all so difficult - how do we let you know we would welcome your pursuit if we're so afraid you'll reject us and are showing no interest? /

    • A Eve on 2026-06-17 23:38:45 (UTC)

      1. Men have been so freaked out by all the metoo stuff, all the Epstein stuff, the toxic masculinity stuff, I absolutely do not blame you for being too afraid to approach women. It's a totally reasonable reaction.

      2. It's also fascinating to watch movies and tv from the 70s where it was pretty common to see men slapping women, ordering them around, handling them roughly, etc. This is not what we want. But we do like masculine energy and male desire.

      3. I've initiated with a few men in my life, and every time it went wrong. Once I got stood up, once it was so blah that I ended up having to prop up the meagre conversation we had (don't know why he agreed to go out with me) and one time I think I came on too strong and he ghosted me. So I'm not crazy about making any first moves.

  • OnAirLoveAffair on 2026-06-13 01:46:01 (UTC) (edited)

    To women who are asking, “What does a woman need to do to make the guy make the first move?” Suggestion: Reverse the question and answer your version of it: “What does a man need to do to make the woman make the first move?” If you can consider your answers to that, take it and flip it back. That may help clear the fog.

    Confidence is sexy as hell, and I think both sexes agree.

    To quote Jules Winnfield, “Mr. Darcy ain’t comin’ to save yo’ ass.”

    • A Eve on 2026-06-13 08:35:48 (UTC)

      "...sayeth the Lord. Though I'm in a transitional period right now."

• MadWithLust on 2026-06-12 11:41:59 (UTC)

  I have so many thoughts and tangents!

  I would love to be pursued and hit on directly, especially like in the most ridiculous porn plot way. But if we're talking a cold approach from an unfamiliar woman, the sheer impossibility of it would just shut me down. It never happens so if it somehow did, I would immediately panic, thinking it's some sort of crime, prank, hoax, magic trick, etc. It's just too good to be true. But if we're talking Friends to Lovers, then the craziest porn cues would make you a keeper!

  So for me to make the move, I need some "Indications of Interest." "Shooting my shot" is a leap of faith with risk of rejection. All the motivational "you have nothing to lose" and "you miss every shot you don't take" stuff goes out the window when the moment comes. I need hope that there is a decent chance that you're single, you're into me, you don't have any dealbreakers of mine (physical, personality, social circles, etc.) and I don't have any of yours.

  • A Eve on 2026-06-17 23:44:16 (UTC)

    I think the indications of interest piece is key, it seems to be the toughest nut to crack in this whole issue. Women generally don't want a guy to be so full of himself that he hits on her with a cheesy line or doesn't even give her a chance to decide if she likes him first.

    The 'dealbreakers' thing is interesting - most women assume that for men, the only dealbreaker when it comes to approaching a woman (not in maintaining a relationship with her, just the approach), physical attraction is everything. Do you think men would really be put off someone they're attracted to physically if she didn't have a good personality?

    • MadWithLust on 2026-06-20 18:27:44 (UTC) (edited)

      The dealbreakers thing is more looking ahead. Asking someone out isn't an end, it's actually the beginning! I need an angle, especially for the first date I'm asking her out on!

      At the start, yes, physical attraction is all there is to work with. But even if I think a woman is hot, it's not a simple "go ask her out". What if I'm interested in sex and she has a vibe that says she's saving herself for marriage? There's nothing wrong with either perspective but in terms of dating, it's not a match. Or what if she's really into a band or type of music that I absolutely cannot stand? Or she's super into designer handbags and expensive tastes? If I peer into my crystal ball, I know those paths probably don't lead where I want to go so I wouldn't ask her out.

      And it's not just about what I want, it's also what I'm projecting onto her about what she wants. Is she looking for physical and am I her type? Is she looking for an outgoing social butterfly or is a quiet introvert OK?

      • A Eve on 2026-06-26 20:27:40 (UTC)

        That's it in a nutshell, basically. We can be really drawn in by a person's looks, but it's a total crap shoot if they have a good personality, good values, etc. It's why I'm surprised people ask out good looking strangers without knowing a thing about them, I would never do that, nor would I ever go out with someone who asked me (not that they have! ha!)

• Car54whereartthou on 2026-06-08 07:33:39 (UTC)

  Oh wow, heavy and unexpected here... But I'll put my two cents in... My two long term relationships both started at the height of the 20th century feminist movement. The first lasted about 7 years and the second was until the proverbial death do us part. In both relationships I was the pursued and I'm grateful that these two women were not shy or retiring. So to answer your question, try to avoid guessing or reading signs from him. Don't make a game out of it with all these rules that women should follow. Whatever information or experience leads them to this kind of advice may be right for someone somewhere, but if you want to know what a man is thinking, ask him! Tell him if you are interested in getting to know him...if he can't be straight with you, you probably don't want him anyway. Don't enter a relationship thinking you can change him later if he is pretty but has a lousy personality or whatever you find is not compatible with what you want in a mate. It won't work!

  • A Eve on 2026-06-11 19:52:09 (UTC)

    There's a lot of good advice in there, especially about not trying to change him.

  • OnAirLoveAffair on 2026-06-09 05:41:58 (UTC)

    Car54 nailed it. Quote, ". . . if you want to know what a man is thinking, ask him! Tell him if you are interested in getting to know him...if he can't be straight with you, you probably don't want him anyway. "

    Right on, brother.

    Signed,

    Sadie Hawkins

    • A Eve on 2026-06-11 19:54:08 (UTC)

      It can be so terrifying for a woman to put herself out there and tell a man she likes him. Men aren't often gentle when they're not interested, and for some reason, we really really really like to be wanted. We want to be pursued.

      Do they still have those dances?

      • OnAirLoveAffair on 2026-06-11 20:41:26 (UTC) (edited)

        Yeah, many men feel terrified about that too (I do). A woman trying to persuade a guy to pursue her reminds me of pushing on a string. I (think I) understand why women feel this way, yet most guys can't distinguish between "no means no" and "no means maybe". I'm thinking of the “chase” scene in the original Top Gun where Charlie confesses her love to Maverick - all she had to do was say it, and he took it from there.

        As for those dances? Yes. In fact, every woman I’ve been intimate with invited me to one. 😉

        • A Eve on 2026-06-17 23:51:07 (UTC)

          We never had them in Canada, but one of my most humiliating experiences ever was at a roller rink when I was about fourteen.

          They called it a snowball dance (basically rolling around in circles holding hands) but it was girls' choice. I don't know how I ended up rolling by a bunch of boys, I don't imagine I ever would have volunteered, but nevertheless, there I was, mortified, and so I just grabbed someone's hand (the last guy in the row) and we skated in utter, horrified silence for the whole song.

          He was not happy about my choosing him. I felt horrible about myself. This severely affected my confidence around boys from then on.