On my use of the word "cunt"

Mar 28, 2018 26 comments

I can only speak for myself, but for me the word ’cunt’ is just the most highly sexually charged way of saying pussy - I equate it with saying ’cock’ instead of ’dick’. I grew up in North America where I know it’s seen as one of the worst insults, and even though I live in Europe now (where it can be much more common and not as ’bad’ a word) I do understand how some people - usually men - have a knee jerk reaction to it.

On the one hand they like how sexual it is, especially when used by a woman, but on the other hand they recoil from it almost by instinct, the way they would if their pastor started saying ’fuck’ during the sermon. It’s just a personal choice for me, something I feel comfortable using when I’m doing a particularly spirited audio.

As for the idea of ’re-claiming’ words like slut, queer etc - I am all for that, and if a woman can reclaim the word ’cunt’ and stop it from being an insult (the way most references to ’pussy’ and ’cunt’ are insults, especially from one man to another). For me personally, I don’t apply ’re-claiming’ to words like ’dirty’, ’filthy’ or ’naughty’ because they already have strong meanings outside of sex that we still use. When they are used to describe sex, they are used because we know what else they mean - we are intentionally calling sex dirty or filthy, knowing full well what dirty and filthy usually mean in our language.

’Slut’ originally meant a housemaid, but hasn’t for about 200 years, and ’queer’, meaning ’odd’, and ’gay’ meaning ’happy’ were words already falling out of usage in North America and Britain, where they had been fairly common. To re-purpose those words for sexual purposes was easy, there is no current or common ’other meaning’ for them that will bring up automatic associations the way ’filthy’ does.

Again, this is just a personal choice for me, and my personal approach to sexual language. I will tag my audios with 'use of the word cunt' from now on for anyone who is uncomfortable hearing it in an audio.


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  • Vermouth1991 on 2018-03-28 20:43:17 (UTC)

    I'm still giggling over the expression of "You shut your whore mouth." Which almost everyone knows it's not to be taken literally.

    But seriously, every time Eve uses the word cunt I feel myself throb down there like something fierce. ♥️

    • A Eve on 2018-03-29 11:49:46 (UTC)

      haha thanks V :P

  • Darx on 2018-03-28 20:32:45 (UTC) (edited)

    At the risk of sounding pedantic, the words "pussy" for a cowardly person and "pussy" for female genitals have different etymological roots. A cowardly person is pusillanimous, which gets shortened to pussy. Pussy for genitals is literally the same word as for a cat. It's interesting that the slang term for female genitals in a great many languages is some word or another meaning "cat".

    As for the use of "cunt", I've never really had much of a revulsion to the word itself. Depends on how it's being used. Context is key, I suppose. I've never had a partner use that word in a sexual way in a sexual situation. I think depending on just exactly how hot and heavy things were (there's a difference between lustfully needy sex and that really slow, gentle, reverent kind of sex, for instance), it would be extremely exciting to hear. If used in the wrong situation, it might be a bit jarring, but not exactly repulsive or anything.

    • A Eve on 2018-03-29 11:49:28 (UTC)

      I had no idea about that, thank you for bringing that up. I always assumed it was just a way of questioning a man's masculinity (calling soldiers 'ladies', etc). And that's interesting about all the cat-type words - it's the same with 'chick' for young woman, many languages use some variation of baby chicken to refer to a woman.

  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2018-03-28 15:07:16 (UTC)

    I know the word can be used more casually in other Commonwealth countries (Eve once told me they use it comparatively freely in Scotland) but in Canada it just isn't a word that people would accept in civil/professional conversation, and I follow suit. That said, in the context of porn or erotic audio fantasy the word doesn't trigger me - as a consumer that would've certainly been quite the stumbling block if it did! :D

    To me, the ultimate word on the matter is that Eve is the artist and it is her creative decisions that distinguish her audios from the rest and underlie their appeal. Considering her popularity on GWA and all the eEAFA nominations she's had last year she's definitely on the right track! 👍

    • A Eve on 2018-03-29 11:47:41 (UTC)

      If you've ever been to a Billy Connolly show, you'll understand just how common 'cunt' is in Scotland. He referred to little kids that way even o_O

      And thank you for that vote of confidence Charlie!

      • MGShadow1989 on 2018-04-17 02:40:32 (UTC)

        Just gonna dive in here as an evil Scotsman - cunt is playfully treated as a term of endearment here.. xD And, casually it's synonymous with person, as in "who's that cunt" lol

        We swear a lot, but I think we make up for it with the rolling of those r's.. :P

        • A Eve on 2018-04-23 21:19:24 (UTC)

          absolutely! And I laughed my ass off every time I heard him say it, so it couldn't have been too bad :P

  • pukka on 2018-03-28 13:26:34 (UTC)

    I really don't mind the use of the word cunt. although i feel like cunt fits more in a "rough fucking" context and pussy fits more in a "lovey dovey" context. But still it doesn't really change anything they both make me think about the same thing

    • A Eve on 2018-03-29 11:46:26 (UTC)

      Yes, I agree, as I said it's kind of like dick and cock for me. But I'm realizing not everyone sees it that way, and since I want my aversion to certain words to be respected, I think I should do the same for my listeners in this case.

  • billymacorbuddy on 2018-03-28 13:10:15 (UTC)

    Context matters. It's not a word I choose to use, but I'm smart enough to understand when it's being used as an insult and when it is not. I think (I hope) most people are.

    • A Eve on 2018-03-29 11:45:33 (UTC)

      I agree, and I know the same could be said for 'dirty', etc. I know it comes down to personal preference.

  • Comfortable on 2018-03-28 11:46:10 (UTC)

    I've always found the adverse reaction a lot of Americans seem to have towards the word 'cunt' interesting. As an Australian, cunt is used as either an insult or a term of endearment, entirely based around the context of its use and the tone of voice. But even when it's used in a derogatory fashion, it's no worse than most other swear words I can think of. There's no harm in tagging audios for the people who don't want to hear it, but I'll never really understand why so much stock is put into the word.

    • A Eve on 2018-03-29 11:44:43 (UTC)

      I find our reaction to 'swear words' really interesting - we have a visceral reaction to them, from childhood, and it seems really irrational. You can say 'puck' on tv for instance, so it's not the sound of the words, it's the meaning we give them. That's what I mean by this whole discussion - the meaning behind words that we are all deeply aware of.

    • Satan666 on 2018-03-28 12:27:36 (UTC) (edited)

      Well as an American, I can tell you that I think around late 2015 or early 2016 people here started becoming desensitized to the word "cunt." I could just be referring to the niche of people like myself that aren't offended by any word, but I remember wanting to start using "cunt" myself around that time because I heard the English use it a lot. And I found the word to be fun how they and Aussies used it. ANYONE could be a cunt. You're a cunt, I'm a cunt, she's a cunt, he's a cunt, everyone's a cunt. Eventually it just ended up meaning nothing to me. So I can't speak for ALL Americans, but there is a decent size niche of people like myself that use it similarly to the English and Aussies like yourself. My recent shock is just how I've noticed recently (maybe just here in the states) how women are starting to use it sexually and how much I enjoy it.

      • Comfortable on 2018-03-28 13:03:34 (UTC)

        It's a fun word for sure. I liken it to 'smurf' sometimes where you can use it to mean practically anything. I have noticed Americans getting more used to it though, particularly with content creators like idubbbz and in a sexual setting like you said. The more the merrier I say!

        • Satan666 on 2018-03-28 16:25:48 (UTC) (edited)

          Oh shit! You watch iDubbbz as well? Funny enough, that's exactly who I had in mind when referring to said niche of people like myself. That's awesome, small world after. Two iDubbbz fans that listen to Eve, kinda weird in a way. Maybe there's more. If there are that are reading this, please reply because that's awesome.

          • A Eve on 2018-03-29 11:42:37 (UTC)

            what is iDubbbz?

            • Satan666 on 2018-03-29 18:40:41 (UTC) (edited)

              iDubbbz is the online persona (or subtle character maybe?) of pretty successful content creator Ian Carter on YouTube. His YouTube channel being iDubbbzTV, holding around 6 million subscribers and CONSTANTLY slowly growing, which is insane numbers for someone as polarizing as he is on YouTube. He is a comedy/commentary channel that the average person would consider to be "edgy" or "offensive" by modern day standard. That being from his persona's very "devil may care" attitude when it comes to language and comedy. He's insanely respected, beloved and even a little feared by most content creators on the site-even by some that may not personally like his "offensive" humor.

              If there's any video I suggest watching first of his to get a great sample of the type of videos you'd expect from his channel and Ian's stance on free speech, context, comedy and words... I suggest Content Cop - Tana Mongeau (his use of the word 'cunt' is also quickly touched on in that video as well oddly enough). His Content Cop series being one of the biggest reasons for his respect and fear with how much time is put into them and how well thought out/analyzed his criticism of other content creators and/or their content is. Meanwhile making it funny and entertaining, every content cop is viewed almost as a celebration because he goes long periods without uploading and has no upload schedule. So it's completely random and a surprise when he uploads... And he just uploaded a new video an hour ago funny enough...

              He is really intelligent, confident as all hell, ballsy and articulate as fuck with crafting arguments. All this manages him to get away with A LOT of things most people would be crucified for in modern society. So much so that he's practically untouchable.

  • Satan666 on 2018-03-28 10:40:35 (UTC) (edited)

    Just to get this out of the way quick after reading it... You don't have to tag audios with "use of the word cunt" in them (if you don't want to, your site). I'm (and I'd say the vast majority of people that listen are) fine with it. I was merely just puzzled about the (I assume) recent sexual use of the word from women out nowhere. It was just an inquisitive analysis of something I've been seeing VERY recently, I wasn't bothered by it. That out of the way, I'm not demanding or even expecting you respond to this, but I personally feel words like "dirty," "filthy," and "naughty" can be used in a sexual manner. It's all about context. Think about it, sometimes it's extremely sexy to call your partner say, "filthy" or "dirty" in the act of intense sex. Basically as form of playful dirty talk or pillow talk. To me there's two contexts where extremely offensive words get a MASSIVE pass... Sex and Comedy (technically I believe they all get a pass no matter the context because I'm an American free speech absolutist, but I'm not trying to make this political or start an argument, just making it clear where I stand on a topic like that).
    So yeah, I appreciate the thought, but you don't need to tag your audios with "use of cunt" in them. And uh... Context matters... Pretty sure that's what I was trying to get at in the second half of the comment. I've recently been trying to get better at articulating my viewpoints, opinions and arguements.

    • A Eve on 2018-03-28 11:04:32 (UTC)

      Well as I said, it's a personal choice for me, but I believe that we aren't doing ourselves any favours by calling ourselves names in order to enjoy sex. We wonder why the whole world is hysterically panicked about sex, but we ourselves call it depraved, filthy, dirty etc. It's like we're giving ammunition to those who want to call sexual people perverts, deviants or other immoral things.

      To me it would be like saying "Sometimes when I'm starving and I dig into a great meal it makes it so much better if my dining partner calls me a fat disgusting pig, a glutton, a slob, a greedy bastard - it really brings out the flavour of the creme brulee! In fact, I can't enjoy the meal unless someone calls me a pig while eating!"

      But as you say, if 'dirty talk' works for you, great, and I'm sure for many people it's contextual and just means heightened sex for them. It just turns me off completely and I won't use those words.

      • Satan666 on 2018-03-28 12:06:19 (UTC) (edited)

        Once again, not demanding or expecting a reply to this and I'm not trying to start an argument with you or trying to force you to change your opinion. This is just one of the few things I personally disagree with you on and I just find it would be an interesting discussion topic if you ever so choose to delve more deep into it, if you haven't already. I personally don't see or think there is a hysterical panic about sex. The majority of western civilization is quite liberal when it comes to sex, that's what you gotta take into account Eve. The majority of the western population is extremely pro-sex.

        And even if there are some people condemning it, fuck'em I say, they're a minority. I say embrace it and turn it into a meme, it never fails. Sure it may sound a little childish or sophomoric, but trust me Eve... Memes are powerful. I think you're kinda comparing apples to oranges with the food analogy, but once again, I'm not forcing you to change your opinion.

        If you don't like it, completely fair. I just personally think you're giving ammo to those people that shame sex (wherever they might be) by ironically being ashamed of the I guess "rougher" side of it rather than embracing it. Because when those things are said, it's not said out of disgust or hatred, it's in more of a "you're driving me wild" or "I can't seem to get enough of you" sense. Do you understand what I'm saying? It's actually really beautiful if you think about it. Just my opinion though.

        • A Eve on 2018-03-29 11:42:17 (UTC)

          I see what you're saying, and I know this is a difficult area to navigate - I'm not sure anyone really knows the absolute right way to approach it. I agree with the 'you're driving me wild' aspect, and I even agree that the idea of sex being so outside our normal button down lives or behavior can be thrilling, to the point of our needing words to express our exhilaration.

          I think each of us just has to figure out what our hard limits are and why - I think the why is the most important part, really. As long as we're making conscious choices I think that's a good thing.

          • Satan666 on 2018-03-29 20:58:46 (UTC) (edited)

            Yeah, it's all contextual to me. It's just passion expressing itself in a different manner because the situation is unique. I'm pretty sure you've heard it yourself in other women's audios that do situations a bit more rougher or extreme than how you do it (if you listen to them). And it just goes back to how I (and deep down the vast majority of men) love seeing a woman just completely lose herself in pleasure during sex. If that's the pillow talk that keeps her gorgeously writhing around in pleasure and have that beautiful orgasm... Then it's our pleasure as men to deliver it. Embrace it Eve or maybe (not forcing it, just a suggestion, you don't have to do it) give it a try in an audio at least once. I'm confident the response will be overwhelmingly positive like with everything you do. ♥️

            • A Eve on 2018-03-29 23:46:30 (UTC)

              No, I won't embrace something I don't like just to please others, it's just not me. Besides, I think I'm creative and wild enough with my sexuality that I don't need to go there.

              • Satan666 on 2018-03-30 00:29:28 (UTC) (edited)

                No I meant "embrace it" by not being bothered or ashamed by it. Those were two completely separate thoughts, apologizes if I didn't make that clear. The other was just a suggestion IF you ever happen to get curious about doing it. Stay calm, I wasn't saying do it. Just a suggestion, not questioning your creativity or sexuality, no need to get bent out of shape.

                BTW Eve, that Cosmopolitan tweet you made isn't a product of sex-shame, it's a product of the dominate mainstream ideology-that being modern social justice. Didn't something similar happen in the UK with models being removed from a certain page in "The Sun"? And the move was praised by feminists. I still don't believe in this hysterical panic of sex you claim, (sorry, but it just sounds silly) but if it does exist... It's ironically coming from the people you would least expect it to.

                And if you don't believe me, read the article. This is literally the first line, "Walmart is banning Cosmopolitan magazine from its checkout lines “to combat sexually exploitative influences” amid the #MeToo movement." And here's the next paragraph, an actual quote... "This is what real change looks like in our #MeToo culture, and NCOSE is proud to work with a major corporation like Walmart to combat sexually exploitative influences in our society. Women, men, and children are bombarded daily with sexually objectifying and explicit materials, not only online, but in the checkout line at the store.”

                Next paragraph, "Cosmo sends the same messages about female sexuality as Playbοy. It places women’s value primarily on their ability to sexually satisfy a man and therefore plays into the same culture where men view and treat women as inanimate seχ objects. " BTW these are quotes from a woman. And even though I don't agree, they aren't even removing them, they're just moving them from the checkout lines.

                P.S. I'm not trying to be mean or cocky, I'm just telling you what's in the article. The headlines of article are just clickbait to grab people's attention.